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IT—Inside Traveler
By Jessie Johnston and Emily King

January 4, 2007:

Train Trance: Zug's Psychedelic Bahnhof

If you take a train to Zug, a lovely Swiss town that's become a ritzy suburb of Zurich, it's best to arrive at night. Although you'll miss the view of Lake Zug and the mountain (the Zugerberg), you'll be able to appreciate the subtly shifting light installation in their recently redesigned train station. Built mostly of glass, the five-story bahnhof starts off glowing blue, then almost imperceptibly turns purple, then pink, then sunset orange, then red, then slowly back to pink, purple, and midnight blue, all in the space of two and a half minutes. An American artist named James Turrell designed the permanent light show, which contrasts strikingly with the traditional Swiss architecture of the town. When Traveler's chief researcher Marilyn Terrell was there this fall, several photographers had set up cameras on tripods to catch the changing lights, so she was surprised to find not a single YouTube video of this phenomenon. She contacted Zug Tourism and the Swiss Railways, but although they had still shots, they had no video. Still shots can't capture the effect, so she asked her brother who lives in Zug with his family to shoot a short video, which he graciously provided here: an Inside Traveler exclusive! (Warning: not much happens between 0:40 and 1:40. Take a minute to meditate.)

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Shake IT, Baby

IT digs the Bard. So we drooled a little on our doublet when we heard about the Kennedy Center's six-month-long Shakespeare in Washington festival (though we do wish they'd come up with a catchier name…Shakespeare is Capital?). The fest kicks off on Saturday (this year's bona fide twelfth night) with a free reading of Will's eponymous play in the Kennedy Center's Concert Hall, directed by the Shakespeare Theatre Company's artistic director. From that point on, more than a hundred performances and exhibits will proliferate throughout the D.C. area including offerings by local outfits like Woolly Mammoth, the National Symphony Orchestra, and the Folger Shakespeare Library. More exotic presenters during the course of the event include the Kirov ballet and opera, the Royal Shakespeare Company, and jazz doyenne Dame Cleo Laine. For a non-traditional take on the exploits of everybody's favorite Danish prince, we recommend the Tiny Ninja Theater's interpretation starring plastic vending machine figurines, the Studio Theatre's production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead or Hamlet's trial, as presided over by Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy. If your ears don't perk up at either iambic pentameter or the dulcet tunes of Cole Porter, perhaps you will find the accompanying exhibits at the National Building Museum and various other local galleries more to your liking. And if none of this floats your boat…why on earth did you read this far? You must have a crush on us or something.

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From January 2, 2007:

United We Fail

IT co-founder Jessie Johnston had a rough time getting to London for her vacation over Thanksgiving, thanks primarily to United Airlines' poor customer service. It took her a while to put the trauma down in words, but she finally has. Here's her story:

"I arrive at Dulles Airport at 4:00 p.m., for a flight departing an hour and 37 minutes later. I had actually tried to be earlier, but the vagaries of the D.C. Metro had resulted in my missing the shuttle I'd planned to catch by about 30 seconds, so I arrive a half hour later than planned. Turns out this is only the first of many mishaps.

"My reservation says I'm taking a Lufthansa flight 'operated by United,' so I head for the Lufthansa desk, where there is no line-up to speak of. The agent there tells me that, even though they have no customers and United has snaking queues at least half-an-hour long, I am required to check in with the other airline. I protest briefly—I learned long ago that fighting airport/airline bureaucracy is generally futile—then make my way to United's international check-in desk.

"The unequal division of check-in labor between these two allied airlines isn't the sole evidence of their dysfunctional relationship. I had been issued with a paper ticket (they still exist?) because, despite their numerous code-share flights, United and Lufthansa do not have an agreement allowing them to issue a single e-ticket for a reservation including flights on both carriers. So, I join the slow-as-molasses-in-January paper ticket check-in line. My flight is scheduled to take off in 90 minutes.

"Half an hour later, I realize that I'll miss my flight if I stay in this line. There are a number of us in the same situation—stuck behind people checking in for flights that depart four hours later—and we begin flagging down agents as they pass. None offer any assistance—they listen distractedly, then walk away. I see an agent by the e-ticket line who appears to be helping people, so I slip out of line and tell her what's going on. She points me toward the supervisor.

"Like the earlier agents, the supervisor offers neither sympathy nor help. Instead, he tells me he's 'sorry, but we expect passengers to arrive a minimum of an hour and a half before their flights are scheduled to take off.' Tearing up for the first of many times (at this point, I had no idea things would get much worse), I explain to him that I had arrived within the designated time frame. He tells me to get back in line. I'm upset by his disregard but assume that our conversation will result in some form of action on United's part or that his knowledge of our plight means we'll be able to check in later than the airline usually allows. At no point does it occur to me United is simply allowing us to miss our flights. That would be crazy.

"But that's exactly what they're doing. (Later in the week one of my friends suggests this may be the airline's new way of dealing with oversold flights, as opposed to buying people off them.) Eventually, a woman in front of me who is booked on the same flight gets to the check-in desk, where the agent tells her she is too late and must go to ticketing to get rebooked. I extract myself from the line. 'I'm on the same flight,' I say. 'But I don't need to check my suitcase. Can you check me in?' But no, the flight is closed. I follow my new sister in sympathy around the corner to ticketing.

"We stand in that line for about 20 minutes, when the agent at the desk announces that anyone in the line who has missed a flight is in the wrong place. We are instructed to move along to 'additional services.' We stand in this line for another hour, watching one agent handle a line of about 30 people. Meanwhile, our flight to Amsterdam takes off.

"My companion finally makes it to the desk, where said agent informs her that we have been in the wrong line this whole time. We ought to have been at ticketing, where we started. My companion heads back to ticketing. I take my turn at the desk, receive the same information, and express a desire to speak with a supervisor. She makes a call, says he'll be along shortly, and I step to the side, but not before learning that there is a flight to London leaving at 9:47(it's about 6:30 now), though with no seats available.

"Fifteen minutes after this exchange, no supervisor has appeared. The agent calls again. I decide to join the ticketing line so that my waiting time doesn't go to waste. I ask her to send the supervisor over when he shows up. Another 45 minutes pass in line (punctuated with visits to the additional services desk every quarter hour to get her to call the supervisor again). When I reach the desk, almost three and a half hours after arriving at the airport, I am informed by the agent (who two hours before had said I was in the wrong line) that she cannot fly me to London until Sunday. It's Friday night. Tired, hungry, frustrated, and in fear for the life of my vacation (I have theater tickets booked for Sunday and really can't envision this trip working if cut by two days), I once again can't control the tears as I ask if there is anything she can do for this desperate employee of National Geographic Traveler magazine.

"Even after I finally play my big card (I had actively resisted naming my employer up until that point), the best she can do is tell me I need to speak with a supervisor. I tell her I've been waiting for an hour to do just that, and she points down the row of desks to a man in a suit: 'That's him. Go talk to him.'

"As I approach I realize this is my nemesis from the check-in line, whose name I now learn is Montgomery. After I capture his attention (a feat in itself), I tell him my now significantly longer story. He once again comes out with something about expecting passengers to 'arrive in a timely fashion,' and I remind him that I had and had told him this three hours ago. He asks if anyone has offered to put me on standby, then says he'll be with me in a minute. For the next ten minutes, he assists other passengers, then, without a glance at me, turns around and enters a door marked 'office.' He closes it behind him and does not come out.

"Five minutes after his disappearance, I suspect that he will never re-emerge (which turns out to be true), and start looking for new help. A woman with a supervisory appearance walks past, and I accost her. 'Excuse me, are you a supervisor?' Indeed she is, and I begin to tell her my tale of woe. She looks concerned. She puts her hand on my shoulder. And starts walking me slowly…back toward ticketing. Suddenly, she changes pace, says 'Wait here. If you have any more problems call me.' And before I can even get her name, she has disappeared behind the 'office' door, never to come out again. Just like Montgomery.

"For the third time, I find myself waiting to speak with the agent at ticketing. When I reach the desk, she asks, 'What did he say?' I detail our interaction. 'Montgomery,' she says, much as Holmes would once have said 'Moriarty.' Before taking another step to assist me, she writes his name down on a piece of paper so that I have it when I file my complaint.

"Without Montgomery's assistance, however, my agent is powerless to help me. I inquire if there is any way she can put me on the 9:47 flight (it's about 8 now). It's way overbooked, she says. At this point I remember Montgomery's question about standby and ask if that's an option. 'You probably won't get on it,' she says.

"'Let's try,' I plead. After tonight, I need a vacation more than ever. And this is the point where my agent puts on her superhero costume. She not only puts me on standby for the overbooked flight, she gives me a boarding priority of BP5, which I have subsequently read described as the 'best airline priority' for people who have misconnected, been denied boarding, or (like me) 'disserviced.' She then proceeds to call the gate, and explain that while she realizes no one has any business being standby on a flight so oversold, she has designated me BP5 because 'Montgomery treated her appallingly. It was shameful.' She asks the gate agents to do everything they can to get me on the plane.

"From there, it was a matter of printing my boarding pass, checking my bag, deciding against a Cinnabon when I noticed the SSSS on my pass, trying out the airport's Sentinel II explosives scanner, and sharing my tale of woe with a sympathetic Potbelly employee who at the end of my story gave me a bag of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with which to smother my sorrows. I then joined the crowd at my gate and waited as they first bought around seven people off the flight and then proceeded to board all but about ten of us, whose names had conspicuously not been called.

"Finally, at 9:45, the good news (for us) came in. A connecting flight was not going to make it in time, and the agents started calling the names of members of our little group. I was third, so I don't know if we all made it. What I do know is that I got to London for my vacation, earlier than originally planned, actually, since I ended up flying direct rather than through Amsterdam. I'm pretty sure I lost at least three hours off my life in the process, though. And I'm equally sure I'll think long and hard before ever flying United again."

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Emily King, Traveler's assistant to the editor, and researcher Jessie Johnston would like to thank all of IT's readers for making our first year a success. They plan to blow the year's profits on tickets to free Shakespeare performances.

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