This morning, I received a strange letter. The envelope carried the subtle scent of the sea, and the immaculate lettering on the front was clearly and carefully written in actual ink. The note inside read:

Dear Brian,

I am but a lowly squid, dashing through the water, and nomming what I can, even my own kind. While I have the freedom of the water, I have always wanted to fly! I see the flying fish and I get so jealous! Can you help?

In hope,

Sad Sea Squid

PS: Do you think the girls would think it was cool if I flew?

I hadn’t expected to start fielding pleas for advice from disconcerted marine life. But who am I to refuse a cephalopod’s aeronautic dream? Since