Chalicotheres were just plain weird. With horse-like heads, but bodies which appeared to be equal parts gorilla and giant ground sloth, these herbivorous mammals have stymied paleontologists for well over a century. Did they dig for roots and tubers with their massive claws, or did they use their long arms to bring leafy tree branches into reach? Perhaps they used their formidable forearms to excavate their own waterholes in times of drought, or maybe they literally shredded small trees into easily-digestible pulp. No one has been able to figure out the paleobiology of these animals with any certainty, leaving scientists to frustratedly ask “Fucking chalicotheres; how do they work?”

Part of the reason why chalicotheres have