A guide to Japanese etiquette, from greetings to onsen culture

Two things can be true at once — and in Japan they usually are. It’s a land of contradictions and, thanks to this and its reputation for complex, manners-driven culture, visitors can sometimes feel baffled about what’s the ‘right’ behaviour. While you’re not expected to know it all, having a basic understanding of local etiquette will make a trip here more relaxing and enjoyable.

Meeting & greeting

Japanese people are punctual and frequently early, so try not to be late to meet guides, pre-booked taxis or restaurant reservations. Bowing is the usual greeting but you needn’t do anything grand; a small head bob is plenty. Should you be offered a handshake, keep it light and brief.

If you’re given a business card — which are still used in Japan at venues such as restaurants — accept it with both hands and hold with care until you can slip it into a wallet; disrespecting the card is akin to disrespecting the person.

When using someone’s name — say, that of a guide — tack ‘-san’ onto the end to show respect. For example, Hiroko-san.

Food

Meals typically begin with a hot or cold wet towel; use it to wipe your hands (not face), then refold and return it to the plate to cleanse fingers throughout the meal.

When serving and selecting from communal dishes at the table, use the back of your chopsticks, not the eating end. And it’s OK to nibble food from chopsticks; you don’t have to finish all in one bite.

Food served in separate small dishes should usually be eaten separately, but there are exceptions — don’t be afraid to ask if you’re unsure. At restaurants that serve cook-your-own dishes such as okonomiyaki (a type of savoury pancake), or at special venues like teahouses, you’ll usually be given instructions about what to do. Even Japanese people often need to ask, so don’t feel shy.

There are only two really offensive things you can do when eating in Japan: passing food from your chopsticks directly to another person’s or leaving chopsticks stuck upwards in a bowl of rice. Both are reminiscent of Japanese funerary rituals.

While sipping a takeaway drink is generally OK, munching while on the go is a no-no except during long train journeys, where bringing a picnic is the norm. Just remember to take all your rubbish with you, as it’s part of Japanese culture to always clean up after yourself and leave no trace.

Transport

On trains and metros, silence is golden — no loud conversations, music or phone calls — and travellers should always sit in their assigned seat, even if there are others free. The Japanese avoid carrying large pieces of luggage with them, instead forwarding it on to their destination using the cheap and reliable domestic delivery service Takuhaibin. Your hotel can make arrangements with a local company; major ones include Yamato and it typically costs ¥3,035 (£15) to ¥4,050 (£20) per bag, depending on size and weight.

If catching a taxi, don’t touch the car doors — drivers operate the opening and closing mechanism for you.

Paying

Card usage is far more widespread than even a couple of years ago, but cash is still king, particularly outside Tokyo. Carry plenty and keep notes crisp and fold-free, as if new. Tipping is practicality non-existent, particularly in the countryside, and in some cases can offend. 

Onsens & public baths

Onsens, or hot springs, are one of Japan’s must-try experiences, but the intricacies of onsen culture make many visitors unsurprisingly nervous. As a result, more ‘foreigner-friendly’ options have opened that provide private experiences (for example, Keiryu Oirase hotel in Aomori has onsens in some suites) or have relaxed entrance rules. Look for onsens with good English websites, indicating a venue that’s more attuned to the international market; they’ll usually say online if tattoos are accepted. Traditionally, sexes are separated and tattoos are prohibited; bandages may be provided so small ones can be covered up during bathing.

Onsen etiquette is complex but there are only three big ‘rules’ you need to remember, and they’re all about keeping the water clean for others to enjoy. One: you must be entirely naked (no towels or cloths allowed either). Two: before entering the water, wash your body thoroughly with soap at the adjoining showers. Three: never let your head or hair touch the water.

Clothing

You’ll need to remove shoes to enter certain buildings, including many ryokans, traditional restaurants and temples. Usually signage — and the presence of other shoes — make it clear where this is expected but, if in doubt, a step up onto a polished wood or tatami mat surface is a giveaway. You’ll be given slippers to wear, but it’s also perfectly fine to walk around in socks (not bare feet) if you prefer. If you’re wearing sandals, it can be worth carrying a pair of clean socks so you have them if needed.

Traditional environments may provide a separate pair of bathroom slippers to use in toilet areas only; the idea is that you swap back to your original pair of slippers once you’ve finished. Ryokans and other hotels might also offer ‘roomwear’ for lounging in — not for taking home — which can range from yukata (a light cotton kimono) to jinbei (a kimono-style top and long shorts). You can wear this anywhere in the hotel, including to the onsen area and to in-house meals. Sometimes pyjamas will be offered, too, for wearing in-room only.

Medical masks were commonplace in Japan long before the pandemic and if you have even a slight sniffle, it’s polite to wear one while travelling through public spaces.

Shrines & temples

Even the smallest shrines and temples welcome visitors and you don’t have to be Japanese or Buddhist to pay your respects; in fact, the Japanese are very open to letting visitors get involved. Saying that, the process can be complex so your best bet is watching what locals do and following suit. This includes washing hands and mouth at taps near the entrance gate and performing a series of claps and bows when throwing small coins (typically just a few yen) into wooden offering boxes.