The unexpected upsides of feeling frustrated
Though often seen as destructive, studies reveal that frustration isn’t just an obstacle—it can be a powerful tool for growth, learning, and self-improvement.
We get frustrated all the time. The scale won’t budge. The line won’t move. The WiFi won’t work. From life’s biggest goals to its tiniest annoyances, frustration is stitched into daily life.
Psychologists say this prickly emotion is far more than a passing annoyance. While often dismissed as less severe than anxiety or depression, frustration can ripple through our brains and bodies—fueling aggression, stress, and strained relationships, says Odilia Laceulle, an associate professor in developmental psychology at Utrecht University in the Netherlands. In fact, it’s the most common emotion at work, and research increasingly shows it plays a central role in how we learn, adapt, and grow.
Now scientists are uncovering frustration’s surprising upside. Frustration exists for a reason, says Ayelet Fishbach, a distinguished service professor of behavioral science and marketing at the University of Chicago. Unlike anger, which often targets an external cause, or stress, which can arise from too many demands, frustration, “is basically the emotion that things are not progressing the way you anticipated, which is feedback to reevaluate goals and think about if you should do it in a different way,” she says.
That recalibration can sharpen focus and fuel perseverance, says Helena González-Gómez, professor of organizational behavior at NEOMA Business School in France. The frustration can then be exactly what leads you to a better place. Some research suggests that students who experience failure in frustrating situations tend to perform better in problem-solving situations later on.
“If you’re a developer and you’re really stuck on something, you just find a way out, a shortcut that maybe makes a more efficient program you were developing,” González-Gómez says. “So that’s beneficial for creativity, which in the long run makes you healthier.”
The same lesson shows up early in life. Infants learning to crawl or walk grow frustrated, too—but that irritation motivates them to keep trying, says Laceulle. “When they really want to do something, they will practice and practice and practice. And it’s okay that they get a little bit frustrated and aroused because of that, because it will motivate them to achieve something.”
Learning to reframe this universal emotion may be the key to turning life’s roadblocks into resilience. Here’s how.
What frustration does to the body
When a goal is blocked, the brain reacts as if it’s facing a threat. The amygdala flags the problem and signals the hypothalamus to activate the fight-or-flight response, flooding the body with cortisol and other stress hormones. Meanwhile, activity in the prefrontal cortex—the region that helps regulate emotions and plan ahead—tends to shut down, which can make us more impulsive or irritable.
(This is how your body reacts to extreme stress.)
While MRI research has shown that emotional pain has similar neural processing to physical pain, the science of frustration revolves around its defining goal-blocking aspect. That means that the brain’s reward systems and structures play a role in our emotional response to frustrating triggers.
Studies show that the absence of a reward in frustrating situations, along with the failure to obtain a goal, leads to a decline in dopamine. In addition, the resulting stress is associated with elevated levels of cortisol. This dip in dopamine can leave us restless, demotivated, and primed for aggression. Over time, repeated bursts of frustration can lower immunity, cause sleep and fatigue issues, sap motivation, and increase the risk of burnout or depression.
Here’s how to harness frustration
Acknowledge obstacles as functional. The first step is being aware that everything has roadblocks—work, learning a new hobby or skill, or even re-learning that skill you once mastered. Frustration is an input to (not a side effect of) our pursuits. “Behavioral change means that it’s not going to feel right at first,” Fishbach says. “If you know this in advance then you can have a plan and anticipate the obstacle.” Her research shows that even seeking out discomfort can motivate self-growth, especially when people are told to expect awkwardness as a necessary part of progress.
Reframe the frustration. Instead of seeing frustration as failure, view it as evidence that you’re being challenged at the right level. For example, adaptive academic tests grow more difficult the better a student performs—which makes them frustrating by design. That struggle isn’t a setback, Fishbach notes; it’s proof of growth.
(Why dopamine drives you to do hard things—even without a reward.)
Regulate emotions in the moment. Suppressing feelings long-term isn’t healthy, but research suggests that holding frustration back in urgent situations can be beneficial. If you’re too frustrated, you can’t act. Temporary regulation frees up the cognitive resources needed to solve the problem.
Vent with purpose. Not all venting is equal. Lashing out can damage relationships, but talking it through with someone you trust can restore perspective, “It will help you regulate,” Laceulle says. “It will also put things a little bit more in context. So if it feels very big for you, then maybe someone can help you see it in a little bit different light.”
Help others through their frustrations. Supporting others doesn’t just ease their stress—it can also boost your own motivation. Research from González-Gómez’s team shows that the adverse effects of frustration can disappear during “service recovery,” a process in which the failures or frustrations are rectified.
Dissect the signal from the situation. If you remove yourself from the situation or practice a calming technique like deep breathing, you may be regulating your response to the frustration. Still, you’re disengaging from the lesson, Fishbach says. To benefit from frustration, Fishbach says, you need to reflect on the obstacle, learn from the experience, and apply that knowledge to future challenges.
